因为在神没有一件事是不可能的

I think that I'm changing inside. Like I have lost something. I can't quite put my finger on it but I definitely feel something happening to me. Not physically but deeper then that. Like I am missing something. But it can't be my relationship with God that is just a good as ever. I don't even know anymore. I have these feelings for people, or lack there of I should say. Its almost like I have lost the ability to love anyone outside my immediate family. I used to love this girl (trust me, I did love her), I thought I did love her until last week. Nothing happened but I just don't care about anyone anymore. And that is strange because I have loved her for 5 years (ever since I met her). I came to realize that nothing would ever happen about 1 year ago and went out with someone else. That was fun but I didn't love her. I always thought that no matter what you can't give up on someone you love. But now I know how people could be pushed too far and just completely give up. I think that's what has happened to me. I have watched her go out with other guys and get hurt over and over again, and I am just tired of it. I can't take it anymore! So I think without knowing what I was doing I just gave up. And now I don't care. I don't care that she got back with the person that hurt her harder and more times then anyone else, I don't care that he will cheat on her, I don't care that they will break up again and she will be hurt again, I just don't care anymore. For all I know people that know me might read this and think I have gone mad, but I don't give a rip.

I think I just found what I lost. And I would rather not get it back, it would only do more harm.