7 years ago
Mar 16, 2005
So here I am in Riverside, California. I don't know if I like it or not this time. It seems to be more of a spiritual drain than the last two times. The drive out was fine, it seemed to go by quicker than the last two times. Maybe it's because we left at 9:30ish so it didn't get dark while we were on the road. I'm not looking forward to the ride home because, well, it's going to suck. Yesterday we didn't have to be in the studio until 9 so we hit the beach and went surfing. It took me a while to realize I sucked. I caught 2 little waves and got up on my feet not at all. But after getting tumbled by 8 monster waves one's senses seem to be awakened to the throbbing pain in his head from the pressure of being thrown about under water and salt water in his lungs. So I was more than willing to just stay on the beach when one wave I road brought me back to land. Why is it what we are always worrying about how we are going to serve God. I was reading Matt 7:25-34 and realized that we make these big plans about what we are going to do for God and wonder why He is not in them. It's no wonder because He wants us to take each day by itself and not make plans for tomorrow. So if we are not really supposed to have heart-set plans for tomorrow, how much more for next year, or the year after that? God showed me that my desire to serve is getting in the way of His plans because here I am making plans to serve Him this way in a year and that way in two, when really he just wants me to listen what He has for me today. And then do it all over again tomorrow. I can't wait to be home with my family. What I wouldn't do for a good wall to paint in the church or some sort of project to work on. I know I'm working on a huge project out here, but I can't see what it's going to accomplish. What I need right now is someone to love. Being in love seems to make everything else in life fade in comparison. That would be great. Even if she didn't love me back. It is, after all, better to love than be loved because all the great emotions happen when one is in love not when one is being loved. Also girls tend to get annoying when they love me. So it truly is better to adore than be adored. P.S. Did you ever stop to think and forget to start again? That's about how I feel right now. |
